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Portland, Oregon: America’s Hot Spot, Or Wishful Thinking?

Inspired By Time

I'd ask for your number, but I didn't bring paper or pen or a pocket

(With history, it’s either hard or soft. Hard history comes with footnotes, citations, and references; soft is anecdotal word of mouth. Some go both ways.) 

Time Magazine ranks Portland #1 for less than meaningful relationships by researching okcupid.com.

And you thought the heat came from the number of Volcanoes In The City Limits 

Their investigative journalist looked at boxes checked for the sort of relationship okcupid members wanted, then cross-checked where the members lived.

Portland apparently leads the pack by more than a nose.

Before listing the Top Ten friendliest locations in America, let’s look at okcupid first.

When you land on the sign-up page you’ll learn that over 56,000 people are currently using the service, or “online now.”

The drop down menus are pre-filled for Gender, Orientation, and Status. With no corrections you are female, straight, and single. So far, so good?

Anyone wondering if okcupid is OK will see the blurbs from The Boston Globe – “The Google of online dating,” which means you’ll get 6,340,986 matches in 0.5 seconds?

About.com calls okcupid “The best free dating site.” You know you’ll get your money’s worth, and then some in Portland.

The Village Voice shows a certain hippness by calling okcupid “A favorite hangout for internet goers.” It makes you want to break out the beret, shades, and snap your fingers to show you’re cool. Internet Goers?

Time says, “Completely free.” The co-pay comes later at the itch clinic.

Boston didn’t land on the top ten, neither did New York, yet they still pump okcupid. Where’s the Oregonian and Willamette Week?

Here are the top ten cities in America for most promiscuous residents (MPR) according to the experts:

1.  Portland

It makes sense. Portland is the biggest city in a state known for wood. The Major League Soccer team is named the Timbers.

 2.  Seattle?

They have the University of Washington in town, known as the Huskies. Their doggyness must drift off campus.

3.  Pittsburgh?

Men of Steel. The Steel City. The Steelers. Cold winter Rust Belt town. Numbers don’t lie.

4.  Miami?

A city so hot their NBA team is The Heat. Lots of water and spicy Latino culture. Then there’s Florida’s shape to enhance the mood.

5.  San Francisco?

My vote for #1 based on past reputation.

6.  Dallas?

It’s Big Texas and they need to be #1 in everything, but the NBA champion Mavericks are it. Dallas might be listed higher if the poll happened when Jason Kidd was younger.

7.  San Bernardino, Calif.?

After reading Hunter Thompson’s ‘Hell’s Angels’ San Berdoo would rise if the judging were based on motorcycle gang dating practices.

8.  Denver?

It’s a mile high, how do they catch enough breath to be promiscuous?

9.  San Diego?

At least it’s not LA. How could it not be LA?

10. Houston

No problem. That’s two for Texas, none for Tennessee.

That Portland is known for bed-hopping is silly.

Is this the sort of notoriety Oregon needs, or deserves?

The writer should’ve known Portland is not a hopping city. Bed-biking or bed-skateboarding, yes; hopping, no.

When the hot to trot from the other nine cities wear out their circle of jerks, where will they move?

Portland.

They’ll say it’s because of Powells, or the ‘culture’, or the coffee, but now we know.

Beating out Seattle and Pittsburgh for the top three doesn’t feel like a real honor when you have images of grunge and terrible towels still whipping around the media after all these years. Courtney Love makes you pray for celibacy; the best hair in Pittsburgh belongs to Steeler football player, and former Oregonian, Troy Polamalu.

If Time listed Portland as a city with the most beautiful people and the most promiscuous residence, you could hang your hat on that, but that’s a poll for another day. 

What really tipped the scales in Portland’s favor?

The naked bike ride? The erotic Halloween party? The Oregon Country Fair?

Take your pick.

According to okcupid and Time, Inc., Portland is the real Big Easy.

This is history waiting to be written. Tell your story in the comments below.

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About David Gillaspie

Since I'm from Oregon I know all about wood; It's like writing a blog. For example I once made a four poster bed from rough cut lumber. It broke the first time I laid down. Now it's four foot stools. Every blog post on boomerpdx.com comes from the same process. Be a good surfer and sign up. You might be sorry, but not that much. Talk soon, David

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